In what will come across as a most awkward and weird case of marriages, a woman has gotten married to herself in France
Beautiful Existence
The 42-year-old American woman has revealed she spent up to $7,000
(£5,000) on a trip to Paris – so she could marry herself, Daily Mail
reports.
The woman from Seattle, who changed her name from Desiree Longabaugh
to Beautiful Existence splashed the cash on a romantic ceremony under
the Eiffel Tower, flights to France, accommodation for a week, and a
birthday celebration while there.
The bride, who works in social media and marketing, wore a casual
white dress and trainers, and recited vows that she had written to
herself as an officiant oversaw the ceremony via Skype – as she couldn’t
find anyone in France to do so in person.
Now the mother-of-two is encouraging others to marry themselves ahead of her first anniversary in June 2016.
‘It was hugely emotional,’ Ms Existence said. ‘Looking at myself on that screen as I Skyped the officiant, saying exactly what I wanted to say to myself was soul-shifting.
‘I believe everybody should self-marry before they even marry
anyone else. It allows you to drop that pressure of having to have
somebody else with you in order to be successful.
‘I’d recommend it as much as I’d recommend being a parent,
because the level of love you’ll feel is something you can’t describe
until you do it.’
Ms Existence was previously married for ten years and has two sons –
Edge, 16 and Epic, six. During that time, friends would confide in her
that they thought she had lost her spark.
They told her she ‘wasn’t herself’ when she was married, and
questioned what had happened to the independent, optimistic woman they
knew. A painful divorce then left her wondering if traditional marriage
was for her.
She was further discouraged when she met a new partner and they
decided to cohabit but not marry, only to find he wasn’t right for her
either.
She discovered self-marriage on social media and spoke to other women who had done it.
‘After years of exploring different theories on how to understand myself, self-marriage felt right,’ she said.
‘Why couldn’t I have a fun, fantastic ceremony the way that I wanted it to be without somebody else’s approval?
‘The current norms around marriage and long-term relationships
just don’t fit in with and honour who I am as a person. Before I get
into any kind of relationship, I needed to commit to myself first.’
Within a month of finding out that self-marriage was an option, Ms Existence decided to have a ceremony herself.
Her heart set on Paris, she set about finding a dress, photographer
and inviting friends to the ceremony before jetting out in June last
year. She picked her wedding date to coincide with her birthday.
‘I wanted it to all be one big adventure,’ she explained. ‘I figured if I was honouring myself, there was no point in picking a date at random.’
On 10th June 2015, under the shadow of the Eiffel Tower with a
bouquet in hand, Ms Existence married herself, reciting vows similar to
the ones she had said at her first wedding years previously.
She said the experience was life-changing, and has completely freed her from the pressure of finding a partner.
She explained: ‘The highest measurement of success society pretty much has is whether or not you’re in a couple, but it shouldn’t be that way.
‘It’s like we’re programmed to be in couples, but it’s not a
measure of success. A measure of success is loving yourself, and if you
can do that, you come into a relationship as a better person.
‘I don’t worry at all about being in a couple now.’
Currently, self-marriage is not legally recognised. However, Ms Existence believes that this won’t always be the case.
‘It’s not like I’m going to get a marriage certificate. Nobody
recognises it right now, unfortunately, but I do think that’s something
that will be on the horizon,’ she said.
‘There are a lot of people – women especially – who are not subscribing to the regular definition of marriage anymore.’
Since announcing her marriage, Ms Existence said people’s reactions
have been positive, save for a few who don’t really understand the
concept.